Waffles
by TheAustrianHero
Summary: An x Reader crack fic! Filled with random references and stuff for the lolz, for this reason, I've rated it M- just to be safe. Also, I apologize for how the format is, it was MUCH neater when I pasted it into WordPad.


**[ Hetalia - Himaruya Hidekaz**

**You - Tino**

**I had to retype this because I accidentally pressed the 'delete' button on Preview. FML. ]**

Waffles

"Do you like waffles?"

"Yes, I like waffles."

"Do you like pancakes?"

"Yes, I like pancakes."

"Do you like french toast?"

"Fuck no."

Tino hit you somewhat gently on your head with his pimp cane, "Bitch please." You frowned as he tried again.

"Do you like french toast...?"

"Yes.. I like french toast," Tino poked you in the side with his cane signalling for you to start dancing. You hopped from foot-to-foot unenthusiastically, shaking your arms around like spaghettis, "Sing, sing!" he shouted.

"It kills me not to know this,

But I've all but just forgotten

When the fuck you made me your bitch,

And your cane or how you got i-"

He whacked you again. You responded with a sound that could have possibly been a groan and a sigh mixed together.

"Doo.. doo-de-doo.. can't wait to.. get a mouthful," you sang in a monotone voice.

Getting fed up, you finally snapped and hit him in the face with a frying pan, "Bitch don't trip, you ain't unsinkable!" D:

He shrugged.

"Your holidays suck and you're gay for Berwald!"

He shrugged again.

"And..." *Cue dramatic movie-like scene* "You're a procrastinator.."

Tino gasped, "Oh it's on," he tossed off his magical shades and over-dramatically flicked his head to face you, "5:00, Lukas' basement. Don't forget to bring your calculator."

-3 AND A HALF SECONDS LATURRR-

Lukas walked down into his basement to play Littlest Pet Shop on his Wii. As the title screen popped up, along with the random puppy noises, he noticed two little lights coming from behind his t.v.

'The fuck?' he thought, tossing a spare nunchuck at said lights, receiving a very loud and disturbing moan from Tino as he rolled out like a crayon from behind the t.v. with you in close pursuit.

You looked at the screen, "Wanna play Brawl instead?"

"No, that game is for pussies," he didn't even bother to look at you because he was too busy keeping his giraffe balanced on a rope.

"Well, alrighty then!" You frolicked out of the basement in your large, pretty, pink tutu, herping while derping.

You saw Tino's laptop in the kitchen, so you laid down on the counter and started snooping. You decided that the most interesting place to look first would be his Pictures folder.

"Finnish flag, Finnish flag, Finnish flag, Finnish flag.. Finnish flag... desk."

They say that the pictures on your computer describe you, so Finland is probably a Finnish who likes work desks."

Getting bored, you gently slammed the top down and dug in Lukas' cabinets, only to see a large hoard of coffee packets... and a muffin. You grabbed the muffin and bit it. It was spiked- literally! But you decided to finish it anyways, even if it was going to damage your human organs.

Tino hopped onto your back, "Piggy-back ride, woman!" Holding onto his legs, you ran around the living room until you ran face-first into a metal pole. Yes, Lukas keeps random poles around his house.

Just then, as you both fell over, the Kool-aid Man burst through the wall beside you.

"OH YEAH!"

He/she/it/thing looked down at you and noticed the position that you were in, "Ohoksorrybr0." He/she/it/thing then slowly stepped back into the hole in the wall, but missed and fell into the pool of water. You and Tino followed said pitcher of Kool-aid into the now red water.

After a while of walking on the seabed, a wild Dr. Octopus appeared, "BLAARRGGHHH!" Before you were able to throw your pokeball at him, he poked you, causing your rings to bounce around everywhere and then eventually fade into oblivion. Numbers counting down to zero appeared above your head.

"The fuck?"

Derp. The number hit zero, meaning that you just ran out of air. Drowning, you jumped up and fell beneath the ground saying something along the lines of "Ohnoooo."

**Game Over**

Retry [Ragequit]


End file.
